20-Year-old Nine Weeks Pregnant Meditating Su¡c¡dal Thoughts

I'm in my early 20s and In am in a relationship with a man who is in his late 40s. I'm just going through some hard times and I don't have anyone to talk to or anyone who cares about me.

I'm nine weeks pregnant and I am contemplating whether I should keep it. The man who got me pregnant has not been treating me very well.

When I told him I was pregnant, he did not believe me at first. Before I got pregnant, he used to treat me well. He used to buy me gifts and anything I wanted. When we made love, he used to say he was going to get me pregnant, and now that I am pregnant, he has abandoned me. Since I have been pregnant, I have been very ill, so I have to stop working. The doctor put me on bed rest.

This man hardly visits me. I was hospitalized for a week and he only visited once. He said he has business to do, so my relatives should visit me. Whenever I call him to take me to the doctor, he says his car is in the garage. When I called to ask him to buy me some breakfast because I was too sick to cook, he said he was not at home. I am going crazy. I am feeling weak. I can't eat. I can't take the smell of anything. I don't want this baby because I am carrying it for a man who does not deserve to be a father, and who does not care for me.

At times I have suicidal thoughts, and I wish he would hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't care less. Recently I went to the doctor and I called him to pick me up. He cursed me and told me that he could not come even though he lives 15 minutes from where I was. It was raining heavily. I am so emotionally drained and tired. I wish I was not pregnant so that I could move on with my life. I am also a loner. Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to. I pray to my God every day, but God is not listening to me. I feel like giving up on life.

Every day I feel like taking my life and ending all my misery. I am not in a position to take care of a baby. I am living off my savings and they will soon run out. I have to be going to the doctor often and medical expenses are eating me out. I am tired. Please reply.

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